The Crime Thriller

Crime thrillers are plentiful. Just look on the television. Throughout the history of television programmes, there has probably been more detective serials than anything else ever. Bergerac, Columbo, Kojak, Morse, all out there ready to be consumed by the unemployed, lonely and bewildered. The simple fact of the matter is, that real life isn't like the crime thriller. Detectives never solve anything because they're too busy doing admin, following pointless leads and doing people for parking offences. Poirot, Cracker, Relic Hunter, the list is endless.

So, if you really want to write one of these in novel form, you need to dig deep and come up with something really special. The Watchmen, Alan Moore's graphic novel that has recently been made into a film, is a good example of someone taking a genre by the balls and giving them a good old pull. Sure, Alan Moore didn't try and write a real novel, but he didn't let that hold him back, and just drew some pictures and some words and hey presto, critical acclaim. That just goes to show you that it's not how you write it or present it, just it's about IT. The story, I mean. Although his wasn't that great, just Batman really.

If you want to write Crime, you need a seriously amazing central character, and some grotesquely intelligent murders. I know the rest of the genre doesn't seem to adhere to this rule, they're all the same essentially after all, but if you want to stand out and make it, then you need a lovable genius, a no holds barred maverick who likes to start by playing by the rules, then breaking them one by one until the murderer is behind bars and the girl is saved. Indiana Jones basically. Or at least someone like Indiana Jones in a contemporary setting. Not a bad idea actually.

There also needs to be quite a lot of sex in a crime thriller, at least a few chapters worth, each more exciting than the first. And if you haven't had sex before, just use your imagination. You'll probably do better than those with years of experience, because you probably would have exercised your imagination quite a lot trying to work out what exactly goes on. Use it.

Gun fights, blood, murder, tommy guns and 1950's style cars, a private eye with a sharp ear, and you've got yourself a smash hit on your hands. I would never write crime however, boring really.

Cheers,
Matthew Rain