Inspire Yourself, By Yourself

Welcome back, what kept you?

Some people will tell you that writing is all about painting a picture in your mind and spilling it out in word form onto a piece of lined paper. They're more or less right.

So, you want to write a novel? Steady on, let's try to walk before we can pole vault. It took me an entire two months to write my first novel, so don't think it's something you can rush into. Why not spend an hour or two researching? In this entry, I shall try to let you in on some writing secrets with regards to where to gain inspiration and the know how to be creative.

Your first port of call should be a magazine. Any magazine. Literally go into the newsagents round the corner and pick one up without looking. Buy it, don't just stand there reading it like one of those idiot students you see in Woolworths, actually do the country a favour and buy it.

If it's a gardening magazine, it doesn't matter, use Alan Titchmarsh's smug self satisfied grin as a bit of inspiration. (Note to self: Write story about the murder of Alan Titchmarsh. Entitled 'Twit in the Marsh') If it's a womens magazine, like 'Grazia' or 'Cushions Weekly', no matter, women are people too. If you are a women, why not pick your favourite article about how rubbish men are and write a story about the last time you were stood up or something. If it's the Sun, then you've picked up a paper, not a magazine. If it's a comic, invent a super-hero. I, for example, invented Flannel Man, who has the power to absorb very tiny amounts of water and wipe surfaces clean with minimul fuss. Etc, the list is endless. Just see something, write something, Easy.

Look at how the words are used in the magazine, the pictures, the headlines. Know that these are meant to draw you in, but you chose at random so you're above their shallow sales tactics. Take pride in that, and use your pride to write something brilliant. Think of me when you do. Thank me if you like.

Be creative. Just doodle or something if you can't write. "Take care," said your mentor.
Matthew Rain